


Amy isn't suited for this, but Jake is!

by dnyevrything



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Awkwardness, Costumes, Fake Prostitute, Gen, Police
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24595387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dnyevrything/pseuds/dnyevrything
Summary: Someone is required to play a fake prostitute
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this Tumblr post  
> https://cacchieressa.tumblr.com/post/138316885368/phil-the-stone-every-time-i-see-the-beautiful

Rosa hadn’t even been asked. She was glad for it; she understood the reasoning behind it as well. If any of them were going to go undercover as a prostitute they had to be approachable. Even dolled up Rosa wasn’t approachable. 

It was something she took pride in, actually. 

It meant that certain undercover assignments were out of her arena. So, Santiago volunteered to take the bullet. Rosa watched her come teetering out in the heels and stockings and the short dress, looking far too uncomfortable to be convincing as a career hooker. 

Rosa pivoted and looked at Jeffords, uttering one word: “Sarge.” 

He looked at Santiago, saw the problem clearly and sighed. “Santiago, take that off,” he ordered. “Peralta, you’re up.”

“Okay,” Jake says, so excited he might be having trouble drawing a breath. “Let me go, Sarge. I have the perfect thing!” 

He was gone in a dash and back just as quickly. Where Amy had teetered in heels, Jake managed to walk easily. He even put on a strut down the center of the bullpen, hips swaying in the quickly procured dress (Where had he even got it? Rosa wondered).

“My name’s Alex McKissing!” Jake announced with a flourish. Boyle gave him a thumbs up and a smile. “I started turning tricks to pay for grad school, but the money was just too good.” He flipped his nonexistent long hair as he turned, giving a brilliant smile for Terry. 

Terry looked him over once before giving a nod a nod of approval. Rosa agreed; this would work so much better than Santiago.


	2. Chapter 2

“How’s the dress?” Jake asked, turning in the bullpen to practice putting just the right amount of sway into his hips. The last part of his disguise was finally in place.

“You look amazing!” Boyle exclaimed. 

“Good Ass.” That was from Rosa. 

Jake pivoted again, enjoying the wig he’d borrowed from Gina. “I feel sexy,” he proclaimed. “Should I grow my hair out? Should I go blonde?” 

“Absolutely not.” Holt was watching the proceeding with his usual expressive regard. 

“Maybe focus on the case,” Terry said, trying to hand Jake the purse with his badge and gun inside. 

“You’d be a dynamite blonde,” Boyle insisted. 

“He’d be better with a purple umbra and silver tips,” Gina decided. “How do you feel about neck tattoos?” 

“Oh, I’d cry like a baby,” Jake readily admitted. He took the purse from Terry and threw the strap over his shoulder. “Okay, let’s go catch some perverts!”


End file.
